Right-brained and still ticking

So this is it, last weekend that my son and his wife will be with us for another whole year. We had a house full of people, a yard full of relatives and friends, and magnificent weather. Good conversations, lots of hugs, good-byes, where has the summer gone...see you this time next year. Right now all the "youngin's have gone off to a movie. We were invited, and the movie sounded like fun, but the "oldesters" chose to stay home, going out is the way of youth. We needed the quite, the opportunity to put the house back into some sense of order so that tomorrow will go smoothly.

I had to get a new cast Thursday because the old one was wearing a blister on my inside wrist bone. While the technician was trading out the casts, the doctor dropped by and asked me if I had slowed down any. What an interesting question – and the answer would be, yes – I have slowed down. The real question is not whether or not I slowed down, but whether or not I've learned to say no. The answer to that would be – I have yet to learn to say no. I'm doing as much as I was before my surgery, I'm just doing it more slowly. That means longer days which are really beginning to wear on me. 14 more days in the cast...

I've always said I should write a white paper titled "if I become left-handed will I be more liberal?" I think that today would be a good day to start it.

For some reason or other, when you change dominant sides of the brain, the brain thinks that things twist or turn in the opposite direction. So my first day back to school, I had to practice how to get out of the classroom. A couple of the students caught me ... how do you explain with dignity that you're trying to figure out how to get out of the room? First thoughts through their heads were whether or not I was for real. 
I have always known you push the door handle down /pushed the door out away from you to open – that's how you get out the door. But in my new state dominance, my brain was convinced that I had to either pushed the door latch up to get out, or had to pull on the door toward me instead of pushing.

The left brain/right hand set up allows for sequential processing of data, dumps old information to make room for new, thinks in logical rational ways, is verbal and has a gift for telling stories, is very analytical and likes to have information repeated. On top of that, the left brain/right hand side is practical and works well under stress. I think this pretty much describes me before my surgery. I can honestly say that given the example of cleaning house and getting ready for guests, I used to work one room at a time. I would get everything that needs to be done in that room completed, pick up the pile of stuff that doesn't belong to that room anymore and move it to the next room. Repeat process. Not much more to say.

The right brain/left hand set up stores every memory that we've ever had, remembers every smell we've ever smelled, can recall every sound every taste that we've ever heard or tasted; remembers best in picture or diagram format, is intuitive, is visual, non-rational and synthetic, and works best when fully relaxed. The process of cleaning up the house has never been less sequential, less organized, less rational then it was today. I kept picking up pieces out of the pile and moving them to the room where they belonged and I would get sidetracked in that room – cleaning that up, until I found something that didn't belong there and then I would move it into the room it belonged, and the whole process would repeat. I think it took me an hour longer to clean house today than usual. 

Grocery shopping has become my newest concept in how to exercise and power walk. Even though I have shopped weekly at the store for well over 10 years, today I could not remember if the chips and crackers were on aisles that are next to each other. And since I can't push the cart without taking other shoppers out, I parked the shopping cart at the end of the aisle and dashed down the aisle to see if it had on its shelves what I needed. A couple of times I forgot where I parked and I put my arm load of bounty in somebody else's basket. Everyone laughed, but I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed.

Language has been an interesting problem. In the past when I was lecturing, I noticed that many times I didn't complete a sentence but at least I gave the key points and everyone seemed to be okay with that. Since the surgery, I haven't been able to get to the key points and my sentences don't always make sense, and I know this which frustrates me. My better half has complained on occasion that I need to slow down and think through what I'm trying to say. That's not what the right brain/left hand set up does. This setup is in a hurry, wants to get things done yesterday, and if the diagram isn't provided – it creates its own, right or wrong.

But I have to admit that I have been more aware of what I would consider beautiful things in life. We have a visiting bird that I've never heard before. I've not been able to get a good visual of the bird, but it's song is incredible. I have always been attracted to the smell of pine, but I have to say that recently the pine trees around our house have been far more aromatic than they have been for years. The hues of the morning glories and the yellows of the squash blossoms are deeper and richer than I ever remember seeing them. The rain we had 2 nights ago was very rhythmic and the brain cascading from the leaves on the roof added a whole new base line level of rhythm.

My biggest hesitations have been in the process of making out of the box decisions. With the left brain in charge - pros and cons are quickly visited, consequences are measured, sequential steps are figured out quickly and easily. With the right brain in charge, there is very little quickness. Keeping my mind focused on pros and cons is difficult, I am aware of consequences, but the sequential steps are often missing. I'm not sure what goes on instead. I just know that I'm not as fast or as confident in my seat of my pants decision-making as I was before the surgery.

Don, you mentioned taking notes about riding the bus – my brain has accepted the adventure and started storing those memories. Unfortunately, I can't write very fast with my left hand and I think recording my thoughts while I'm riding the bus might just put me out on the curb. But I find that when I get home, I don't have the words to be able to express or explain what I experienced. One of the downfalls of being newly left handed.

So am I more liberal than I was before? Probably not. My brain still remembers what it was like to be right-handed/left brained and sometimes there is this little war going on inside of me. While I stop and smell the roses thanks to the right side of my brain, the left side berates me for wasting time. My analytical skills are improving, but my ability to express it is diminishing.

What I trade out this experience? No. It has given me a whole new way to look at the same world I see every day. It has allowed me to touch and experience beauty at much deeper levels than I've ever been able to before. Do I want to be right brained/left-handed for the rest of my life? No, but I don't want to be totally left brained/right-handed for the rest of my life either. Like everything else, moderation is in order for me. Being more ambidextrous I think will allow me to enjoy and experience life in ways that are more in tune with living a rich and full life.

14 more days and counting. Dr. says to not get my hopes up for a "swift recovery." This recovery, to be right and lasting, will take time and patience. It took me 60 years to get here, I guess a couple more months of healing and strengthening won't matter.

Don, I was thrilled to hear that your changes in diet and exercise paid off. Don't you sometimes wonder why it is we learn these things in our older age instead of when we were younger so we wouldn't have to go through this when we are older?

Have a great week,

Carolyn