Well, 'tis the season to be waylaid. Mom nature conspired with other stuff to prevent me being back here sooner. Funny, a few days ago I was on about how benign the winter was thus far. Perhaps the person she posted at the snow switch heard me and took umbrage because over the last few days the relentless snowfall has truly returned.
To be sure, it's not up to Buffalo, N.Y. standards but we've got a carpet on everything so far that peaks above the knees of all but NBA sized folk... and it just keeps on coming! It's not blizzard stuff just squalls in the open areas and endless fluff from above. Pencil in an hour at the start of each day for shovel and snowblower activities.
Outside is an endless panorama of postcard scenery. Even the scrawniest of fir trees look all regal and majestic in their snowy capes. The tallest ones are stop-and-look impressive. Behind our yard the forest is a study in snow-covered serenity. Even the steady winds don't seem to smudge the encompassing beauty. Functioning in this wonderland is sometimes another saga, though. A recent day trip to London Ontario was stretched into two and a bit just because of driving conditions.
Anyhow, enough atmospheric chit-chat.
Your recent account of supping with extended family, replete with tongue biting moments supplied by politically obstreperous partakers in the repast was most enjoyable to read. I especially clicked into the “ hell froze over quickly” part. Similar situations are probably part of almost any holiday family gathering. Spirited interchanges seem to blossom around the dinner table - a phenomenon I had trouble with growing up, though, because my folks taught me to never talk with my mouth full…
Although , “It would be a dull world,” my mom used to say in her quiet, diffusing way,” if everyone always agreed completely with what everyone else said“.
Mothers are usually on the money, aren’t they?
Somehow, while reading about your dinner moments, I got tossed sideways, into a giddy, slapstick scenario - which I hereby share. It’s been awhile since I’ve stumbled off into left field. So, with the extended family meal as the catalyst ....... a wee tangent trip.
It could be at the holiday table, or in a busy room making small-talk and munching hors d'oeuvres ( horses doovers as my dad called them ). Either way, remaining placidly tight-lipped while voices within earshot spew out silly, and divisive verbage is one of those things that tests all of our souls.
I do believe this was the primordial pool that spawned the first food fight .
It had to be.! If you know that you can’t effectively answer a discordant voice with airtight counter arguments because they simply won’t listen, then why not respond with a silent and deftly tossed dinner roll or appetizer that temporarily, stanches the relentless flow of oral absurdities from the orifice in question? It also nourishes them and gives them a moment of reflection.
So, with this in mind, ( pun absolutely and childishly intended ) some food for thought......
Why not institute the food fight as a means of dealing with international conflicts and issues ? Instead of the countries of the world diverting inordinate percentages of their GNP for weapons of mass destruction and guns, missiles, explosives, and land, water and airborne vehicles of extravagant sophistication and extraordinary cost They could have food fights. Each country involved could muster one or more of it’s national culinary dishes to unleash upon the other country or countries embroiled in whatever dispute is being dealt with.
The infrastructure is already there at the U.N. There must be acres of kitchens to deal with the customary cuisine requirements of the member nations' delegates and their support staff. As far as the rules and referees go, there must also be floor upon floor of suits in that iconic structure whose sole purpose is to sort out the international law issues that are part and parcel of this international entity. The tendency of lawyers to delay and obfuscate could be countered by the requirement that all items to be determined on a given day are to be resolved by dinnertime or struck from the menu ( no leftovers please!)
I see dinner tables of varying lengths and dimensions set up in dining halls where the combatants could convene for a negotiation meal, as it were. The choice of weapons could be almost endless, since each country would understandably want to make its case with it's native cuisine. Once the plates have been filled the attendees would listen to some sort of opening address from each of the nations or alliances involved and then, procedurally at least, set in motion a meaningful dialogue. This, naturally, would devolve into fractious behaviour. Someone within the assemblage would pick up an item of food and let it fly. Things would thereafter unfold as decorum dictates in any decent food fight. Blitzes of blintzes and blinis answered by fusillades of fusilli or a shower of sushi. Salvoes of samosas unleashed in response to a a hullabaloo of hummus. It would truly be a hands-on, finger-lickin' good experience.
The air would be filled with all kinds of delectable destruction. Licking one's wounds would be tasty, indeed.
Is this idea stupid, silly, infantile and ludicrous ? Yes, of course. But, is it even one one-hundredth as horrendously stupid and vicious and life-destroying as the manner in which international conflicts are resolved in the real world? Do the math.
See ya soon,
Don
All images sourced from Google Images
Fig. 1 - northidahowellness.com
Fig. 2 - www.delish.com
Fig. 3 - dailysignal.com
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